My journals are filled with my feelings,
emotions,
with stories from my perspective,
with memories,
with hurt,
with laughter,
and random thoughts.
As the world has changed,
I have taken to writing in different forms
...hence my blogs.
I believe when someone writes,
they want others to read their words.
Even if those words are secret words,
once written in a journal.
In the past few years,
I have found I enjoy leaving little notes
for myself to find later.
I started first leaving notes in my artificial Christmas tree box,
on 4x6 note cards...
Note 1:
"Remember -
You took the
lights off the
tree & need to
buy more!
"Look for ones
w/blue & purple
(LED's maybe)
:) 1-10-15
_____
Note 2:
"New Lights
in 2015
*****
S suggested
I put a $20 bill in
here for later.
Sadly, I have no
cash on hand.
1-16-16
Wouldn't mind more
lights next year -
like 300 more!
_____
Note 3:
"In 2015 I thought
I needed an additional
300 lights.
S told me I
should leave a $20 bill in the tree.
I didn't follow his
advice.
Put the tree up in 2016 & thought - I
still need those extra
lights. Decorated the
tree anyway, although
I almost didn't, only
"(flip card - back side of card and smaller writing)
because I threatened to go minimalist.
M helped me & we got out only
the snowflakes. The tree was
awesome! But, needed more lights &
a new topper. I bought more
lights after it was decorated but
didn't put them up. If I am still friends
w/BR in December 2017 he needs
to see the tree w/all the lights on it.
Had he known my mom he would have
understood. When he sees the tree tell him 'Told ya so!" Still not
leaving myself a $20. It's a great
idea S, but I don't trust the
mice. <3 Mom
P.S. Thanks M for insisting
last year that we
decorate w/all snowflakes! (insert Snowflake emoji here)
"(back on front, said in tiny print)
Jan. 22, 2017 TAKING THE TREE DOWN TONIGHT
P.S. New lights are still in boxes w/Christmas stuff,
Not w/tree!
_____
Note 4:
"1-12-18
Dear Self,
You enjoyed reading your
note last year as you unpacked
the tree. I'm thinking this
should be a new tradition.
I'm still not putting $ in
here as S suggested a
few years back. That's still a
fun idea, but...what if I throw
out this tree and not look for
the note?...playing its safe again.
You made it through the
holiday without many tears.
You are creating your own
new traditions. You have new
animals and are re-discovering
things you love. Keep going!
Secretly you do know
you're a rock star! You're
"(flip to backside)
humble though. You like the
praise, but love sharing the
spot light, too.
You have so many people
who love and admire you.
Keeping loving! Keep sharing
your thoughts! When are
you going to write a
book? Keep teaching - You're
really good at that! You
help so many that way.
Keep telling yourself that
money comes easily to
you, good things are coming
and love WILL find you.
Share your love, understanding and
positivity - and know you really do
love yourself! Me (insert smilie face with curly hair emoji)
_____
February 17, 2019
I haven't written my note yet.
I am at a much, much better place emotionally.
Maybe that's why I wrote those other notes...I knew I'd need the encouragement.
I suspect I'll write about how going to New York for Thanksgiving
really helped me this holiday season.
Thanksgiving though Valentine's Day has always been hard for me to get through,
but this year it was wonderful.
I think I'm over the hump!
My new challenge for myself is learn to keep my independence in all my relationships.
I read somewhere, "A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves."
I love it!
Heading towards five years of being divorced.
What a long road towards healing this has been.
It's fair to say, each person has their own path they must travel down when dealing with changing relationships.
Not all relationships are the same.
Some people start dealing with an impending divorce long before the actual act happens.
I did not.
However, I am grateful for this journey.
I am more myself than I thought I could ever be.
Off to write my note now....
~Lisa Kroll
lover of life, love warrior, independent soul
