What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with me?  

I can't seem to let down the stronghold that is surrounding my heart.  

I spoke of my marriage to a new person.  I rarely speak of my past like this anymore.  It's a trigger for me. A full on panic attack started happening.  My past has effected me more than care to admit.  I know I can't open up completely.  It's simply too risky.  

I really don't think of myself as Elsa, well not too much, but it is way safer to conceal and not feel.  I can handle everything on my own.  Mostly.  

Sitting and pondering, what's wrong with me?  

Maybe it isn't me, but society wants me to believe it is.  

Just thinking...

Lisa