School is closed. Starting immediately through the end of March.
What? How can that be? I was just in an hour-and-a-half meeting with the Union President. No mention of closure yet. We just had one more day until Spring Break. School closing was expected after we returned, the Coronavirus was starting to rear its ugly head in our country.
There would be no chance to tell my students "Have a good break", "See you when we get back", "Have fun." No closure of any type. Just suddenly... there is no school. A panic inducing, no-questions-answered phone call at 7 pm to teachers saying 'Please allow the administration to tell parents, more details will follow soon.'
My first thoughts...Do we even go in tomorrow? Was someone exposed in our school? Was someone exposed in my classroom? Are we all going to get sick? What is happening? This can't be real.
My phone started buzzing. My teacher friends and co-workers were having the same questions.
My phone started buzzing. My teacher friends and co-workers were having the same questions.
I have spent the past week, my Spring Break, NOT in a rest filled state. My anxieties are running high. I am sure my blood pressure is elevated. I have been filled with worry. I am worried about my 92 year-old neighbor and MIL because she won't stay home. She told me she's the bump on the curve, she won't wear a mask because she doesn't want to cover her beautiful face. I know she's trying to be funny and doesn't like someone younger trying to be the voice of reason. Do I think she is incapable??? No, I don't. I just don't have any parental figures alive, she's the last, she's my kids grandmother and I happen to love and care about her. She is an adult, therefore she gets to make her own choices. Do I want to come have a glass of wine with her? Umm...not as long as she's out and about with so many free germs roaming around. Telling her no thank you was hard, so I didn't. It was raining and I knew the forecast said it would be 100% chance of rain at 6 pm, her wine time. I told her I'd bring my own glass of wine and meet her out back of her house on the patio IF it wasn't raining. That was my polite decline.
I am worried about my students. Who is going to stay with them each day while they stay home? Do their parents need to work? Do they have enough food? Who is going to cook lunch for them if they do? Will they socially distance from their friends as they should? We talked so much about hand washing in the last week, but will they remember? Will they leave their faces alone??? Will the get regular sleep? Will they make healthy food choices and get exercise? What are their worries about COVID-19? How is their family coping?
As we move forward I worry about my student's education. I realize not all households are created equal. Most families may have a computer, a smart phone, and internet, but not all. My general experience this year teaching fifth graders has been, there are many things parents and society expect a teacher to do for and with his or her students. Who is going to really be the teacher now? How will I teacher lessons through a computer? Not even how will I do remote face-to-face teaching, wouldn't that be a dream, again not all households are created equal, but HOW do I put lessons online? Who is going to really explain or make sure the kids are doing what I am asking??? Parents may also need to work. We live in a time when most families need that double income. Will parents have patience to explain something, explain it again, explain it in two more different ways, and then with a smile still on their face and lacking frustration encourage their kiddo to try?
How am I going to really teach? I know myself and I know I am meant to be in a classroom. I know how to work the classroom. I know how to give encouragement when it is needed. I know how to shut down the distractor (Squirrel!), and keep the class on topic. I know how to listen and restate something for my students who need differentiation in their lessons. How am I going to do that now??? Over my Spring Break, I have spent hours attending online webinars to figure out how to use our districts platform. I attended webinars on different resources and how to integrate them into my teaching. Late last night, I found out my district is planning a webinar this Tuesday for me to learn how to use our system. My online lessons are due Wednesday. Confession: I cried a little and thought I might vomit when I read last night's email. I feel very old school as a teacher. Can I learn something new? Absolutely. However, I am filled with anxiety.
My goals, and I need to keep reminding myself of these are:
- Be kind to myself. This process will need to be fluid, and the kiddos and I will learn together.
- Build/maintain our classroom sense of community. For me this needs to be number one.
- Make sure I am a resource for my students. They need to be able to ask questions, not just of curriculum, but about COVID-19, and anything else on their mind.
- Provide emotional support. My students need to be able to share their feelings and they need to know I will listen, hear them, and validate their concerns.
- Know it's not going to be perfect. It won't be perfect, but it will be.
For the past year I have been vocal about the value of Public Education, wearing #RedforEd each Wednesday, posting on social media, and even going to the state house twice last year to let my voice be heard. I remain firmly committed to that cause. I hope we all weather this situation with grace, and dignity. I hope our legislators finally realize the value of Public Education for all, allocating resources to those who deserve it the most...our students. Maybe the outcome of this will be that more people will be willing to stand by my side, vote for pro-education candidates, and tell our legislators, DO THE RIGHT THING, Support a teacher, support Public Education.
~Lisa Kroll
Fifth Grade teacher filled with anxieties
We are having the same thoughts. We are in this together. Thanks dor putting all our thoughts and fears into words.
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ReplyDeleteWell written as usual! We are all in this together, even as we are in isolation from those we care about. Remember, "this to shall pass". Stay in, stay safe!
ReplyDelete"This too shall pass!"
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